Since the departure of my significant other earlier this year, I duly returned to the 'single-but-unavailable' status. Though it can be great fun living up the bachelorhood, more often than not, it can get rather desolating. Hence, whenever I feel the blues kicking in, I would turn to the next best alternative - my guy friends. These are the people I can always count on to share my ups and downs. Even the simplest thought of catching up with them after school or work has never ceased to kick start my day with a smile.
Of late, however, it has come to my attention that most of these friends have engaged themselves in a relationship. Not that I have any problem with their significant other but the fact that, their way of life seems to be predominated by the relationship, which is quickly becoming concern of mine. Having said that, they include issues like: Must a relationship always alter an individuals' lifestyle? Can an individual balance himself between his partner and his friends? Are friends the 'backup' we turn to when things do not work out with our partner? Do partners enjoy precedence over friends?
Case in point would be F. Prior to F's relationship with Y, we always had ample free to spend time together and indulge in the typical activities like watching movies, playing pool, consuming alcohol, discussing politics - which are just a few to mention. But since the relationship commenced between them, most of the aforementioned activities have come to a halt. On top of that, the fact that they are cohabiting does not make room for much individual time. From a general observation, the time, money and energy he has is channeled mainly to his partner leaving him with inadequate resources for his friends.
Another example would be K.F. Before getting with his current girlfriend, we would always have great bonding sessions, be it vis-a-vis or through the phone. Alas, that no longer happens since he started to date M.S. Also, I view the sporadic phone calls from him as an insincere attempt to sustain the friendship. His 'I'll get back to you later' sentence is one of which I most dread to hear. Inevitably, the only outcome of all this is sheer disappointment.
To learn of the above is an absolute heartache. To think that someone new in their life has a definite precedence over a friend of many years simply goes to show how easily man forget the fundamentals. Additionally, to conveniently exploit a friend, comparable to a 'backup' in moments of distress, is an affront to me. No heartless person deserves a friend who is sincere, selfless and magnanimous.
After much introspection, I have decided to let this matter rest. Instead, I shall focus my attention on those friends who truly care about me like N, L and M.C. And fortunately, there are also those friends like D and A who, despite our age differences, seem to be great company during and after classes. As for those ex-friends that I have given up on, I shall eagerly wait for the day that the karma police knocks on their door, as depraved as that may sound.
Of late, however, it has come to my attention that most of these friends have engaged themselves in a relationship. Not that I have any problem with their significant other but the fact that, their way of life seems to be predominated by the relationship, which is quickly becoming concern of mine. Having said that, they include issues like: Must a relationship always alter an individuals' lifestyle? Can an individual balance himself between his partner and his friends? Are friends the 'backup' we turn to when things do not work out with our partner? Do partners enjoy precedence over friends?
Case in point would be F. Prior to F's relationship with Y, we always had ample free to spend time together and indulge in the typical activities like watching movies, playing pool, consuming alcohol, discussing politics - which are just a few to mention. But since the relationship commenced between them, most of the aforementioned activities have come to a halt. On top of that, the fact that they are cohabiting does not make room for much individual time. From a general observation, the time, money and energy he has is channeled mainly to his partner leaving him with inadequate resources for his friends.
Another example would be K.F. Before getting with his current girlfriend, we would always have great bonding sessions, be it vis-a-vis or through the phone. Alas, that no longer happens since he started to date M.S. Also, I view the sporadic phone calls from him as an insincere attempt to sustain the friendship. His 'I'll get back to you later' sentence is one of which I most dread to hear. Inevitably, the only outcome of all this is sheer disappointment.
To learn of the above is an absolute heartache. To think that someone new in their life has a definite precedence over a friend of many years simply goes to show how easily man forget the fundamentals. Additionally, to conveniently exploit a friend, comparable to a 'backup' in moments of distress, is an affront to me. No heartless person deserves a friend who is sincere, selfless and magnanimous.
After much introspection, I have decided to let this matter rest. Instead, I shall focus my attention on those friends who truly care about me like N, L and M.C. And fortunately, there are also those friends like D and A who, despite our age differences, seem to be great company during and after classes. As for those ex-friends that I have given up on, I shall eagerly wait for the day that the karma police knocks on their door, as depraved as that may sound.
